That won't happen to me...

Ever met someone whose child was born with a defect, or whose child fell suddenly ill, and you find yourself thinking, "That will never happen to me"? Yea, don't be so sure of yourself.

I took Paisley to the doctor today. He thinks she may have pertussis. They ran a CBC and performed the nasal swab test. The CBC came back with indications of pertussis. Her white blood cell count wasn't elevated, but her lymphocytes were abnormal. I have to wait 24 hours for the swab test results. Dr. Via really wanted to admit her for overnight observation but the Williamsburg hospital doesn't have the facilities needed. He talked to CHKD but they won't admit her because her test results aren't back yet. So as of now we are in a limbo. She has an appointment at 9 am to be checked again.

I sent Cheyenne with Kevin this weekend, as much as I didn't want to. He was kind enough to switch weekends with me though. I really miss her when she's not here, and am constantly wondering what she's doing or if she's thinking of me, too. I had to send her with Kev, though. If Paisley does have pertussis, I don't want Cheyenne exposed to it more than neccesary. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if she gets it from my selfishness.

I suppose I should be trying to get some sleep.

To Cheyenne:
I love you. I miss you. I hope you're having the sweetest of dreams and I can't wait to hold you in my arms again.

To Paisley:
Please feel better soon. I hate that you're having to go through all of this. I love you.

A Simple Cough

Miss Paisley has had a cough for a couple days now. At first I thought it was from a possible head cold, but last night she was coughing so bad that her face would turn bright red and she couldn't catch her breath. So I called the pediatric nurse line, and waited for what seemed like forever for a nurse to call me back. While talking to her, she told me a few things to try, and also said I need to bring her in before the weekend is up.

So, I'm sitting here pumping milk for her as I write this, waiting for 8am to roll around so I can call the pediatrician's office and get her seen.

My Girls

These are my beautiful girls. Cheyenne is two, and in this picture Paisley is two months.

To Cheyenne:
You are an amazing little girl. You have got so much compassion inside of you. When someone is hurt or crying, you go to them with open arms and hug them and pat their back all the while telling them "it will be ok". You pick flowers for people. You always "give love" before saying goodbye. And you love hair; you have always twirled my hair. I promise you that as long as you love playing with my hair and braiding it, I will not cut it short. I also promise to do everything I can to let you grow your long like Mommy's. Please don't ever lose your sense of compassion while growing up.

To Paisley:
You are without a doubt a Mama's girl. I love it! You are a fighter and have the temper to match. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am sorry you were born with a cleft palate, I feel like it is my fault. I also feel like this is what makes you a fighter. I think you're going to be such a strong young woman, and I cannot wait to watch your personality develop! And you have got one of the cutest baby laughs! I love it!


Baby girls, please don't grow up too fast. Please enjoy and savor the innocence of childhood as long as you can!

I LOVE YOU!!!

For My Children

I am writing this blog for my children. I want them to be able to look back one day and be able to read about how wonderful their childhood is, how precious they are to me, and how every single decision I make is centered around them.